Many of us lose the opportunity for growth because of our vulnerability. We tend to see vulnerability as weak and something to avoid.
So when we hide, when we don’t wanna show our mistakes or when we simply don’t want others to see our weakest points in poker or life we miss the opportunity to improve and we miss the opportunity to relate to others in a more authentic level.
My personal view is that most players that are very successful and good, exposed themselves and their game in an authentic way. Being ok with being wrong and seeing the value of learning from other players of any skill level.
Our lack of vulnerability stops us from being creative cause it’s shameful and embarrassing to be wrong which means to be vulnerable. And to be seen and thought of as a fish/bad/weak player.
What gets in the way of our vulnerability is mainly shame and that’s what stops us from doing what we actually wanted to do. Many times we over think what other people might think or what if we get criticized or what if we are wrong and that doesn’t allow us to reach our full potential, to be seen and to connect with others.
After playing some high stakes tournaments for a while I saw many plays from players I consider very good or elite that were at least questionable or just clearly bad, which is fine right? No one is really perfect and we all mistake in poker and life. The difference is that a good player has confidence in his decisions to make mistakes,then he moves on quickly from them, being ready to play the next hand in the best possible way. Also he accepts himself as he is, he is human, he makes mistakes and he understands that that’s part of the process and its not related to his confidence as a person or player.
Actually a good way to shift shame or judgment from mistakes is by making fun of them. Something like.. omg that was such a silly play lol. You might think this is questionable and that’s fine too it’s just about you finding the best way to get out of judgement or shame to have a positive process of how to deal with mistakes
When we go to the tables our only focus should be to play our best because we are in a mission (think on why you play poker) and in this mission it doesn’t really matter what other people think. It only matters how you leave the table. Feeling that you played good/great or perceiving lack of focus, ego or shame?
We allow ourselves to play our best when we leave all this limitations behind and apply what we think is right or the best at any given situation.
Show your game the way it is, that’s being yourself and it’s the same for life. People want to see the whole version of yourself and not only what we do right.
Sometimes it takes getting some courage and getting out of your comfort zone but it’s good to keep in mind what we want to create when we leave all these things behind. We want to learn, improve, relate to other people, be connected and feel the satisfaction of doing a great job in and out of the tables. I would recommend reading Brene Brown’s book “The Power of Vulnerability” to further explore this topic”.