To be successful in any area of life, we generally need to be confident, introspective, and effective, but how these things interplay can be interesting. When we are introspective, then we can begin to doubt our self, and this doesn’t feel like confidence. However, if we turn up our awareness and improve our behaviour patterns, then we become more effective, and being effective reinforces our confidence.
Often in life, we have to take a step backwards to take a big step forwards, and just like learning a new software program or working with a new coach, at first the new understanding of what there is for us to learn, and the enormity of it, can break apart the self-image we have of our own ability. However, when we are able to adopt the frame that we must always be learning, then we can shift our perspective to embrace new challenges with open arms; the bigger the better, because the better we will come out the other side.
This shattering of the image, in order to truly become what we like to believe we already are, is common in many areas of life. It’s an essential step in ego-transcendence and the legitimate path to mastery through true confidence.
One specific area where the stone might meet the glass is meditation. Meditation brings additional awareness to what thoughts run through our mind on a regular basis. No matter who you are, you will invariably start to find that while many of these thoughts may be serving you, others might leave you scratching your head wondering “why the fuck would I think that in this spot?”
As Einstein said, there is nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so. For our purposes, in the endeavour of being a happy and prosperous person, we want to learn that when we shine the light of our awareness inward, the best question for us to ask is ”is this useful.”
It’s great practice for analyzing all things in your life, from habits to relationships, however the one place people most often forget to make a value assessment is in the thoughts they think and the things they say to themselves.
“Fuck my fucking life”
“I run so bad”
“This guy always fucking gets there”
“Life sucks and then you die”
The Ego loves these ideas, because if we can’t be special by winning, then we can be special by being the biggest loser. The victim of all victims. Remember, the Ego’s biggest fear isn’t losing, it’s being insignificant, irrelevant, normal, ordinary. If I can’t be #1, then let me be the guy life fucked the hardest.
The Ego is sneaky sometimes, but if you take a step back, if you raise your awareness (through meditation) so that the voice of your highest self can be heard over the ego and your emotions, then you can always find the best way forward.
“That was unfortunate”
“Can’t win them all”
“I’m sure I’ve sun-run someone before”
“Poker is what it is, I am responsible for the effort I put in, and focusing on improvement and not variance is my skill to master”
“Life is what you make it”
The big awakening to grasp is that unlike poker, for many things in life, there is no objective reality; there is no right answer. There is no way to ask PIO Solver if life is good, if the world is a kind or cruel place. It cannot compare the EV of waking up to TV news vs meditation, or facebook feed vs discord chat. It can’t tell you the EV difference between telling yourself you suck when you make a mistake vs telling yourself it’s ok and just keep going and learn from it. You need to ask your highest self which of these lines is most +EV, the good news is that in most cases the answer is obvious, you’ve just never put your awareness there before.
Albert Einstein also said that whether we live in a kind or a cruel universe is entirely a matter of our own perspective, or to quote Hellen Keller, “Life is a daring adventure or nothing at all,” again the choice is yours. Maybe the guy who just sucked out on you is going to get hit by a car tomorrow, or maybe the money will go to his head and he’ll lose his wife and family, or maybe he has unspeakable things in his past that won’t be erased by any amount of money, and because he keeps winning he’ll never get the opportunity to figure that out.
Don’t ever claim to know a person’s luck, including your own. Despite what your PT4 or HM2 database might want to tell you, it is incalculable. For starters, you already won the sperm lottery just to be here, so in a way we all run good.
Counting your blessing is a choice, as is obsessing about your mistakes. You get what you think about. When you encourage yourself, you will be able to go further than you think you can. If you feel burnt out of energy, take a hard look at the coaching going on in your own head, between your meat puppet and your mind. How supportive are you being? Are you listening or just commanding? What kind of a thought reality have you constructed for yourself? You are the director of your own life movie, tragedy or a comedy is up to you. You cannot control the cast, just the lens.
Check out James’ follow up blog here – https://www.jameswhittet.com/2020/01/09/how-to-have-the-best-thoughts-possible-in-2020/